“Love is not all you need in a marriage”
There are three keys to a lasting relationship. Love may be important, but communication, respect and trust are essential.
I would like to
tell you about what a successful marriage, that's too bad, because I do not know to write the answer. I only
know what a work similar to marriage, which is a different matter. The first
thing to say about "happy marriage" is that I doubt that there are
many of them. Very roughly half of all marriages in divorce.
I suspect that those who want to stay together, half are tense because of the children, money or fear of loneliness. Some really are and always happy, a chance combination of circumstances, rather than a particular brand of love or tactics. Most of the other marriages, I think, not about good or bad fortune, but accommodation and negotiations. And I say that half of a married couple in which both of us have done each other happy and unhappy, probably in about equal measure. We are very different people, but they are all very different people. And here lies the central problem of marriage, which will be asked to pass near companies with a person for years.
My wife and I have a strong sense of individuality, and I like that, but it means that we. Our fair share of fireworks Anyone who has not been a lot of disagreement in a marriage probably repressed many things which probably explode sooner or later.
I already had a marriage that was not working (I hesitate to call it a failed marriage, because he managed for a reasonable time) and it has already lasted much longer, I take it as a good sign. We have the basics - we love each other - but that's just the beginning. For me there are three key wedding and they are all very difficult to forge.
The first is the communication; it is the secret of a successful marriage. It's true, but there is no use in saying so. I am fascinated by our human determination to not communicate.
The second is respect, which is in many ways more important than love. Love comes and goes, but compliance continues, and has capacity for love after reflux, which is bound to come in all long marriages sooner or later to flow.
The third is trust. And this is the most difficult of all, because if you have ever disappointed - and we all - the rebuilding of trust is difficult. This is not infidelity, but many small things - thwarted broken promises, bad intentions, hopes.
You have to trust, even if you no guarantee that you will not be disappointed, and if you are disappointed over and over again to trust. You must go on, as long as you are able, with humanity and your wedding and fall on them are. This requires what I call the power of "forgettory" as opposed to memory. You need to forget and forget again misunderstood and mistreated about everything. Slide behind you pull the weight of the past down at the end.
But you will never, never "get there", because there is nowhere to go. A wedding is a process in motion, a living thing, and when it is powered with these vital nutrients, it will eventually wear out. Complacency and Laziness is what kills the wedding, much more than the lack of love, and therefore it is often described as hard work. But no work is ultimately more rewarding.
I suspect that those who want to stay together, half are tense because of the children, money or fear of loneliness. Some really are and always happy, a chance combination of circumstances, rather than a particular brand of love or tactics. Most of the other marriages, I think, not about good or bad fortune, but accommodation and negotiations. And I say that half of a married couple in which both of us have done each other happy and unhappy, probably in about equal measure. We are very different people, but they are all very different people. And here lies the central problem of marriage, which will be asked to pass near companies with a person for years.
My wife and I have a strong sense of individuality, and I like that, but it means that we. Our fair share of fireworks Anyone who has not been a lot of disagreement in a marriage probably repressed many things which probably explode sooner or later.
I already had a marriage that was not working (I hesitate to call it a failed marriage, because he managed for a reasonable time) and it has already lasted much longer, I take it as a good sign. We have the basics - we love each other - but that's just the beginning. For me there are three key wedding and they are all very difficult to forge.
The first is the communication; it is the secret of a successful marriage. It's true, but there is no use in saying so. I am fascinated by our human determination to not communicate.
The second is respect, which is in many ways more important than love. Love comes and goes, but compliance continues, and has capacity for love after reflux, which is bound to come in all long marriages sooner or later to flow.
The third is trust. And this is the most difficult of all, because if you have ever disappointed - and we all - the rebuilding of trust is difficult. This is not infidelity, but many small things - thwarted broken promises, bad intentions, hopes.
You have to trust, even if you no guarantee that you will not be disappointed, and if you are disappointed over and over again to trust. You must go on, as long as you are able, with humanity and your wedding and fall on them are. This requires what I call the power of "forgettory" as opposed to memory. You need to forget and forget again misunderstood and mistreated about everything. Slide behind you pull the weight of the past down at the end.
But you will never, never "get there", because there is nowhere to go. A wedding is a process in motion, a living thing, and when it is powered with these vital nutrients, it will eventually wear out. Complacency and Laziness is what kills the wedding, much more than the lack of love, and therefore it is often described as hard work. But no work is ultimately more rewarding.
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